What the Hey? Seen on the Streets of Bridgetown

Again, we know Bajan ladies can dress with the best of them. But there are some serious crimes being committed in the name of fashion which cannot run unchecked lest they take over the wider society and result in chaos and widespread disorder. To wit:

1. The "Pouffy Jeans Dress"

Well, I just don't know how else to describe it. It has a puffy bottom and is made of denim, hence the moniker PJD. Ladies, why? This is just not a good look. Sure, on the rack in the store it looks cute. But, zut alors! On ze body eet ees another thing. No, a thousand times, no! Do no buy this dress. If you have already bought one, do not wear it. Do not even try to giveit to the Salvation Army. Just because people are down on their luck doesn't mean they don't have a sense of fashion. Christa has yet to see anyone who lookes good in this dress.

2. The Racerback T with a Normal Bra

This is a most serious offence deserving of the most severe punishment imaginable. Again, the number of offenders are mercifully few because we Bajan ladies know how to do our thing. But it is absoulutely unimaginable that anyone would concieve of donning a normal bra (i.e not strapless, not racerback) underneath a racerback tee and parade proudly through the streets of Bridgetown like the Original Multi-Strap Woman. This is almost as ludicrous as the alleged "invisible" bra straps which were transparent yet VISIBLE to the naked eye. Where is that Harry Potter Cloak of Invisibility when you need it?

NEWS FLASH....Woolworth, Cave Shepherd, Nu Look, Martindales, heck all of Swan Street are replete with suitable bras in a variety of price ranges. So if you know you are an offender, do the necessary asap. Or face the consequences. Enough said.

3. The Rihanna Mohawk

Even Rihanna had the good sense to get rid of hers.

The Real Deal - Coach or Clueless?

O.K. So we all know that Bajan ladies are fly and are sharp dressers. There are probably people somewhere in the world who think that we live in trees and wear grass skirts down here in the Caribbean but we know that we shop in the fashion capitals of the world - New York, Miami, Los Angeles, London, Paris. And the fashion non-capitals - Puerto Rico, Margarita,Port-of-Spain. In no particular order of importance. If it is hip and happening we have it.

So, naturally we want to flash our "Coach" gear like any self respecting fashionista would. Ladies, when you are dressed to kill (or maim) and you step out to impress, you want that Coach bag hanging off your shoulder ,do you not? It certainly seems so.

There has been a suspicious proliferation of all things Coach in Barbados within the past few years. So many people have "Coach" bags. But are they really Coach or are some of y'all just perpetrating a fraud (knowingly or unknowingly)? Hands up, now. I now have an innate suspicion of all things Coach since someone tried t o sell me a "real Coach bag" for $75 a few years ago. Ladies, I hate to break it to you. If it costs $75, chances are it isn't Coach. It probably isn't even the horses that drag the coach. If you bought it on the streets of NYC, it probably isn't Coach. And if you have to walk around with a paper tag attached to it saying "Genuine Coach", chances are.....you got it!

Pssst.. I have a Hermes scarf for sale. $25. Seriously.......