Top 5 Reasons why you should have your eyebrows waxed instead of plucking them yourself

O.k, so every fiscally responsible fashonista knows that in today's economy you have to cut and contrive. Tighten your belt real tight and focus on neccessities. Trim the budget and let go of those little spa treats. It is easy to do your own French pedicure, no? (No , it is not. It can be a full scale disaster.)

But I digress. We are talking about why, despite pressing economic hardship, it is NOT a good idea to pluck your eyebrows yourself (especially in poor lighting). So, the top 5 reasons are:

1. You will inevitably overpluck and people WILL notice that you are missing half a brow.

2. Skin coloured plaster really is not skin coloured and was not meant for brows.

3. Advertising claims be damned. Eyebrow pencils and gel are NOT really long lasting and during the course of the day, on a fleeting glance in the mirror, you will realise to your horror that your eyebrow pencil and gel have worn off and that it is painfully apparent to all and sundry that you ARE missing half a brow.

4. No one really believes that you had an unfortunate accident with your curling iron.

5. Brows take a while to grow back. Even if you religiously apply olive oil and Do Gro to them nightly. Sigh.

So, the moral of this story is that one should not try to "self-spa" but should fork over one's hard earned money to the professionals who know what they are doing. Cut and contrive somewhere else. Maybe you can try applying your own gel tips. I mean, that has to be easy, right?

What the Hey? Seen on the streets of Bridgetown, Part Deux

1. A vendor selling plants in Swan Street. Is this what they mean by greening Bridgetown?

2. Off da Brink spray painted signs. Also seen on the outskirts of Bridgetown. What is up with that?

3. Two Rihanna Mohawks. Sigh. Didn't we talk about this, people?

4. Very Small Shorts on a Not Small Body. Not cool. Oh, my eyes! My eyes! I actually believe that individual does not have a single mirror in her home.

Say it ain't so, Joe

Did Joe Jackson really say that he would be launching the Jackson 3 i.e a band comprising the children of his deceased son MJ? Now, I haven't actually heard him say this or seen any video footage but this is what I heard reported on tv.

No, did he really say that?

What's going on?

Wow. It has been aeons since I posted. Work was crazy/busy/insane and the days have just whizzed by.

So much has happened in the past five weeks or so. I'll try to touch on the major talking points:

1. MJ's death

Is there anyone on the planet who is unaware of this event? Possibly there is some tribe somewhere without cable, satellite radio, telephones, the internet and possibly that tribe has missed the drum beats from the other tribes broadcasting this news. This has totally dominated the airways and TV for the past few weeks. May MJ rest in peace. A musical genuis, a dancing machine and seemingly a troubled soul. He has left us some beautiful music and for that we give thanks. His music is timeless as is Bob Marley's. That, my friends, is the mark of true genius.


2. Sarah Palin's resignation

Oh, this list is in no particular order of importance. I'm not saying that Mrs. Palin's resignation is the 2nd most important event in the past few weeks. But it did come out of left field. Gotta love that unpredicatable moose hunting, Wasilla fishing kinda political moxie. You betcha, grandma! Check out more at www.huffintonpost.com.


3. Barbados/Guyana Warof the Words

Or not. Our Prime Minister has made it clear that he will not be shouting accross the Caribbean Sea at our neighbours. However, some other Prime Ministers were not so minded. (No name, no blame, no lock-up.)
If you are a Bajan, check out the Staebroek News (www.staebroeknews.com) for a Guyanese view of the debate. If you are Guyanese, you probably already live in Barbados and have checked out the Bajan view of the debate in the Nation newspapers (www.nationnews.com). And heard it on the call in programmes. And on the maxi taxis.

One smart person Who Shall Not Be Named told me that freedom of movement does not mean freedom to stay.
Hmm...so the concept is that you just keep moving? Interesting.


4. Barbados/Guyana Girl "fights"

Naw, not real fights. Don't get excited. I'm talking about " GT Advice", the tongue in cheek calypso penned by none other than Eric Lewis and the replies, one of which is sung by Thicky Sweets who is repping forthe Bajan ladies. I think it is called "Keep Your Guyaneese Wine" but I am not sure. Well, they are hilarious but let us make sure that we keep it at that level and not get too personal.


5. See Me and Don't See Me

"Keep muh name out ya mout
Keep muh name out ya mout
Keep muh name out yuh mout
Yuh en know wha ya talking bout

My pot don't hot at you
So I shun concern you
If I run up my cell phone bill
It ent gine come at you
.......
If yuh know yuh don't like me don't add me to yuh Facebook."

Just a sample of the lyrics to "See Me and Don't See Me", a "bashment " style track that is mashing up everything for Crop Over. This song is wicked. Patrick "Salt" Bellamy really hit the jackpot with this. It is full of Bajanisms
and everyone can relate to the sentiments , so the target audience is the whole of Barbados. Sweet Fuh Days.

To translate the above sample lyrics for those of you who do not speak Bajan:

Keep my name out of your mouth (i.e Stop talking about me. Stop hating)
You don't know what you are talking about
My food is not cooked at your house (i.e I don't rice at you or I don't depend on you for food)
So what I do is of no concern to you
If I run up my cell phone bill
It is not going to come at your house (i.e you won't have to pay it, so why is it your business?)
...
If you know don't like me, don't add me to your Facebook

If you happen to belong to the same tribe that doesn't know about MJ's death, then you probably have not heard Salt. Check him out on www.bajandancehall.com.


6. Rihanna and the Curious Case of the Sequin Covered Nipples

Why Ri Ri? According to reports, Rihanna was seen on July 7 at the Tao nightclub in Las Vegas wearing a low cut blazer with no inside blouse and with her nipples covered by sequined petals. Inexplicable. What, they don't sell camisoles in Las Vegas?

You will always get props and love from us for being the first Bajan superstar and our homegirl but this one leaves us at a loss.

7. Miracles do happen

If there is anyone out there who thinks that miracles are confined to the Bible, here is the latest evidence of a modern day miracle. Floyd Reifer is the captain of a West Indies senior cricket team in the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Nine. If this is not the hand of God at work in a mysterious way, I don't know what it is.